In the few conversations and many emails I have had with Gretchen Bonaduce I knew that this was a woman who is kind, open and above all joyful. When I met with Gretchen on a very warm Los Angeles day, warmth as well as her inner peace just radiated from this extraordinary woman who most really only know about her from the reality show “Breaking Bonaduche”, where she always seemed to be stressed out and worried about the state of her marriage to Danny Bonaduce a kind but rather tortured soul due to his own demons, which for the most part came from his own upbringing and early childhood stardom. I always have questions ready before I do any interview, not one question included us talking about her former husband. I mentioned that before we were off to lunch; and surprisingly this glowing and very down to earth woman who has so many positive things going on in her life basically told me that “I am an open book with nothing to hide”. I was personally thrown for a loop, but felt to understand where she is heading has a lot to do with where she came from. She is not the typical “Hollywood Wife”. She is creative, smart and driven to succeed on her own. On HER own terms; not with the help of anyone she knows or using Danny to fall back on. When you see her in person with her trademark burning hot mane of red hair; she radiates a glow that can only happen when a person accepted their past, and has found what their path in life is. Gretchen is a woman who with her many talents will be able to take over the world on her own. However to go forward; I think it was important to her to be totally open and honest about where she came from so that everyone could be awed just like I am to where it is she is heading.
As we drove to a small diner near her home we spoke a bit about her childhood and of course Danny. We spoke a bit about her family; she explained a bit about her parents their divorce and the real life mystery that was concealed about her mother until adulthood. She was born in a suburb north of Chicago called Waukegan September 24th 1965. Her parents Thomas Hillmer (a nuclear scientist) and her mother Mary Hillmer had Gretchen and divorced while she was still very young. Her mother remarried a Military Man and while her mother and he were married, he was stationed in Germany when Gretchen was a young girl. Her mom got pregnant in Germany with Gretchen’s sibling; but got very ill during the pregnancy her mother died suddenly, she had a difficult pregnancy and was ill even after giving birth. However, she grew up believing that her mother had died during childbirth, it was not until Gretchen was 22 that she found out part of what really happened. There are still some facts that are shrouded in mystery, one can be the inability to communicate with German Doctors, another is it also it may be possible that the lack of knowledge about pregnancy complications almost 40 years ago played a part in her death. When she was given a letter at the age of 22 on the circumstances surrounding her mother’s death, it turned her world upside down; which would be the case of any person who had not really have known the circumstances relative to a parent they have always loved and yearned for most of their lives. As Gretchen explained it her mother did not die during childbirth; but a tragic accident several days after, she fell 
out of the hospital window to her death. Gretchen admits that this news was not just haltingly difficult to cope with, but that she was hurt that she had not found out the truth earlier. Her birth father had remarried, and she went and lived and grew up with them. She considers her step-mother her mother while never forgetting the details of the mother who loved and gave birth to her. Her father and step-mother have been happily married for over 30 years; and Gretchen has come to accept what happened. With all that has happened in her life she either had to put on a tough façade or just curl up. I asked her how she got through such a turbulent childhood. Gretchen chose to be a fighter saying “I think you can go one way or the other, it can make you weaker or stronger; in my case it made me stronger”. That feeling would carry her through her life. She did admit however that while in High School in Tennessee she tried to be a bit rebellious; but her father who had settled the family in Tennessee was always one step ahead of her. If Gretchen wanted to go into a bar her father would call saying “She’s a minor, if you serve her I will close you down”. He just simply did it with a phone call. Otherwise Gretchen was a pretty good kid who was never much of a partier, drug user or out of control teen, like so many of us who grew up during the crazy 80’s.
The other topic I had no intention of talking to her about was her 16 years of marriage to Danny. I was not sure how she felt about the long drawn out divorce nor did I wish to bring painful memories to this obviously content and confident woman. Though I had heard this someplace in the past; Gretchen told me that “Danny and I met and got married on our first date” Gretchen did not wish to have anymore meaningless relationships to people I was not married to. She continued “I Don't want to make myself out like chaste virgin...that was cause some snickering in the state of Tenn.! hahahahaha”. The truth is at the time; Danny’s career was gone, and he did not have much money, I asked her if at any time during this first date and consequent marriage if she had known anything about Danny’s infamous partying ways. As Gretchen told me; “Danny had a radio show at the time... I knew who he was because they forced him to go by the name Danny Partridge, but I had no idea the magnitude of that show as lived in Germany when I was a child... remember seeing the show once as a child” He was after all possibly the biggest child star of that era, recognizable anyplace he went. She continued to tell their story of love, triumphs and struggle. She spoke of their marriage which I asked her about the early days of, she told me “when we got married. Danny was struggling to stay off a very bad drug habit, which then turned into alcohol struggle.” Today they have 2 children together and while they may be in the final stages of their divorce, I did not detect a sense of bitterness, regret or anger. Just a hint of nostalgia perhaps, or fondness for the man that she had been married to for so long, it is public record that after years of trying to make the relationship work, it was Gretchen who filed for divorce. The years spent together as a married couple who started with nothing in a material sense did wonders for not only his career of which she manages, but also a production company they formed together which produced both “Breaking Bonaduce” which premiered on September 11, 2005 and “I Know My Kids A Star”. Gretchen told me with her head held high that “Danny would cheat and misbehave, and had control issues” as she continued to tell me about her story with Danny she said “ Because Danny was out misbehaving and cheating his guilt led him to try to justify his own behavior. As Gretchen said “Danny wasn't accusing me of cheating ever... he knew better than that. He just wasn't nice a lot because he was trying to justify his behavior of what he was doing behind my back to make himself feel better”. I asked her if she felt that any of what happed to end her marriage was in some way her fault she quickly replied “NO, I never did anything wrong”. Faithful and loyal, she 
stuck out Danny’s antics for 16 years; she is far more patient and understanding than many wives would be about his very erratic and confusing behavior; she knows in her own head that he was projecting his own misdeeds onto her and even told me “that not once did I ever cheat on him in the 16 years we were together”. I totally believe that Gretchen doesn’t hold any malice or ill wishes towards him, it may be that after 16 years of feeling like you are riding a constant roller coaster that never stops; she simply had to free herself from a relationship that could not be fixed. She filed for the divorce as mentioned, much to Danny’s dismay. When I asked her if she felt any guilt about not stopping his behavior she responds swiftly and without hesitation, “Yea you know what. I was a pure enabler; yep. I have no apologies. I kept that man alive.” Continuing, “Probably he would be in dead or in jail and it’s just a fact”. The entire family needed to be fed, housed and whole in her mind. In Gretchen’s case it is not like the typical way a spouse seeks to gain half of the more famous parties’ money. The fact is; they started with nothing together and with her help, he had a wildly popular his radio show that started here in LA on STAR 98.7, TV appearances and even the show’s “Breaking Bonaduce” and “I Think My Child’s A Star”. Which both Gretchen and Danny were producers and creators, millions saw was an intimate look into a life where she wanted and tried to save him from himself, and if you ever watched the show; it was easy to see that much of the time Danny seemed to be caught in his own personal struggle to do the right thing. When I asked if she thought childhood stardom was a bad thing she says no. It is all about the parents. Telling me that not all child stars turn out this way and does not blame him for his shortcomings, but does say “He had a really bad childhood.”; while it is no excuse for what he did, it is possible that when you have so much fame so young, and a home life as wacked as his that I could understand to a point why this bad boy with the most loving and paitent woman in the world by his side could not fix what seems to be so broken in him. It is a tale that happens in and out of Hollywood. The simple fact is they lived it in a very public manner unlike the rest of us who do have the luxury of not having cameras around either self imposed or by the paparazzi for 16 years. Though “Breaking Bonaduce” was supposed to go onto more seasons, and show more of what Gretchen was doing with her musical career and fashion design career; the network pulled it before any of that can be shown. I think that the show was like putting a very large mirror in Gretchen’s face; allowing her to realize that maybe for herself and her children the best thing to do was for Danny and Gretchen go their separate ways in their personal lives. What I do know has helped her get through the long drawn out divorce proceedings that have now lasted over 1 ½ years are her friends. The simple fact is they could not fix what was broken, and says “Danny is a good person” continuing “he was constantly trying to shoot himself in the foot”, and the Hollywood Tabloids ate up his antics. Before meeting her, I knew the history; I just wondered how she held up and held on for so long. I think love and hoping and praying that he would be saved and changed. She is not one to casually date or party, Gretchen likes to be in control. 
However, before all the up’s and down’s in her life with Danny; she always thought before meeting him “I would end up being a waitress someplace or singing in one of those singing restaurant’s” I asked her if she had told him that her dream was to be a singer when they were first married, she replied “No, I did not want him to think I was using him in anyway”. She really loved and respected who he is and where he came from, and did not wish for him to feel taken advantage of ever again; it seems by anyone. I did ask her how she feels about all those years with Danny right now, she replied with a wistful smile “I am so grateful to be where I am in life. I wouldn’t trade a second with Danny”. When I came home and listened to the tape, tears filled my eyes. Not out of sadness; but how with grace and style she leads her life, with a huge open heart! Single again, she does wish to date and has tried. She did date one man and I wondered if she had a mean bone in her body. I guess he got the major wrath. She tends not to pull out her claws, that gets you nowhere in life, but did say this about the short-lived interest that ended before it started, “I told him Crazy about you... crazy, crazy, but we are on different paths, do it nice. If you are bitch they won't feel like they made a big mistake letting you get by!!! Now I hope he thinks about it and regrets not snapping me off the market.” Enough said; the guy lost a good one.
As we moved to the portion of her interview I was anticipating, we did talk about her friends. Pure Joy just filled her face and it was clear that they have been a great source of support and knowledge that life gets better and there is always a rainbow at the end of long trials. She told me that her and her girlfriends spent a lot of time together, “we have sleepovers where we all wear the same pajamas and get together at my house for a pajama party and a couple glasses of wine. I asked her about one of the newest friends Denise Ames who she made quick friends with when she appeared on Denise’s popular show “Focus in the Mix with Denise Ames”. A bond and friendship I don’t believe will ever be broken.
Now on her own, she is excited about her future. She has a growing Music Career and has been working on clothing, jewelry and a perfume that she is manufacturing and selling. However the clothing lines are hitting some minor snags and we spoke about it before talking about how her music profile is blowing up. The natural beauty who does admit to a bit of Botox here and there told me about how she doesn’t wear designer clothing, yet when I met with her she looked as if she was in designer chic all the way. I felt much underdressed in my former beach living uniform of yoga pants and a tank top. Luckily she is in no way a snob and even mentioned that she never thumbs her nose down to anyone. This is a woman who has had and has not had.
If you go to her My Space page www.myspace.com/gretchenbonaduce you will see that not only does she run it herself, but she is really 
beginning to get her two fashion lines, jewelry line and her fragrance “Unearthly Beauty?” going. The first thing I noticed was the name of her fragrance “Unearthly Beauty?” I wondered where the name came from, and why there was a question mark after the name. So I simply asked. She giggled a bit and said that one of her band mates from MuddFlapp suggested the name and she thought he was a little crazy. She added the question mark in part because as she said “I don’t think I am, nor do I want people to think that I think I am”. The perfume was made with a chemist and she has always been told she smells like Swedish Fish the red little gummy candies that smell great and taste just heavenly. When she told me that; I was rather happy it was not yet another floral scented perfume being put out by a celebrity. It just sounds simply edible. She has also been working on two clothing lines “Countess Couture” and “Skirt 2 Shirts”. As we got into talking about her clothing line she did say that she was being shut out of the LA Garment District; which is a pretty closed society, unless you have an in. I mentioned that I went to the Fashion Institute of Merchandise and Marketing, and knew how tough it could be to be accepted into the very small clan of manufacture’s that still exists in LA. So I asked her what happened when she would ask around. She told me “It’s really hard no one will help you. They are afraid you will take people and take their team.” She continued that “You actually have to build your own team; people who know a little about this and people who know a little about that.” She had tried using Craigslist, but the people she got were not very good; and any designer/manufacturer can’t afford costly and timely mistakes. So I asked her if she had a team now, she did tell me “I do now have a good team of people”. They work on her 2 clothing lines “Countess Couture” and “Skirts to Shirts”. The “Countess Couture” line is beautiful dresses and hot partying be seen around town dresses, and the line was started because she was making her own clothing for “Red Carpet” events she had to attend. When I asked Gretchen who was purchasing much of her Skirts to Shirts line, she had told me “You know what’s interesting; women who are size 12 and over. Since I was doing it on a small scale, everything was being done in sample sizes”. Now she has the line of cute ban skirts and other items in any size you may need. The skirts are cute; the length’s can be changed. It really is a great line. As I mentioned, she also has a jewelry line which is hip fresh and young feeling. Done in the vein of “Backstage Passes”, they are colorful, flirty and have various sayings. Some of the pieces have tag lines that include; “Foxy Lady”, “I’m With the Band”, and guitar picks attached to some saying “I’m With the Guitar Player”. Each one is just more unique than the next, the color bursts and it hit’s your visual senses and fashion accessory senses; simply every piece in all of her collections are what I would call “URBAN COOL” . Her main dream is to partner up with a large retail outlet. When I asked her if she had any in mind she didn’t even have to think twice, She has it all mapped out in her head. She told me “I would love to get into Target to start”; branching out to higher scale stores with different lines as her empire grows. So many great designers join Target that it is the perfect place to start getting this utterly hot line launched. She is smart as a whip, and always has a plan. Right now you can go to her off My Space website and purchase any of these items at www.countesscouture.com. The lines made me drool; that is not very easy.
Two other things she is excited about are her two bands “Ankhesehamen” a band named after the wife of King Tut, and not more than a little over a year. When I asked her how she came up with the name her reply threw me for a loop; making me smile. Always a history lover she told me how the name came to be, “I love history, I was in the middle of Rome and just in awe of all the history, and beautiful buildings. They have such history and majesty”. She continues, “When I came back I was watching a documentary on King Tut, I was always very interested in that entire time period, and when I heard his wives name again; I knew I wanted to name my band “Ankhesehamen” for sure. It may be hard to pronounce, but the band does use the tag line “Go Ankh Yourself”. This band is a New Wave/Pop band with fun cover’s of some of the 80’s best known songs like Kim Wilde’s “Kids in America”, Berlin’s “Metro” and many others. You can find her music at www.myspace.com/ankhenamenmusic. This band is booked for several months in the Los Angeles area, and is becoming a club staple. She is most proud however of being asked to play at the Dinah Shore Classic (golf) in Palm Springs on April 3rd 2009. Her band mates include: Gretchen on Vocals, Macy Malone on Guitar/Vocals, Billy Blade on Bass, Staci Starr on Drums and Beth Corrigan on Keyboards. The one person sadly missing is her friend and former band mate Traci Michaelz her original drummer and Backing Vocalist. Once again Gretchen’s life was touched by a devastating blow when Traci Died. I asked her had happened, and with some thought and a pause she tried to explain the best she could. The death is still shrouded in mystery, but she did tell me “He was with another band “Peppermint Creeps”, and they were finishing their tour. They were on their way back from Texas”. Knowing she had just booked the upcoming Fox Reality show “Gimme My Reality Show”, she told the band they were going to be on TV with her. Traci may have been the most excited besides Gretchen herself. However, one night his wife called she did not sound right. I asked her to tell me what Traci’s wife Crystal said; a bit quiet for the first time she relayed this to me, “Traci Passed away” at first she thought she was kidding, sadly she wasn’t. Christa went on and by now it was sinking in that she was not joking she was hysterical. It seems he had been drinking, but no one knows how much or what the true cause of death was. His band mates tried reviving him the next morning; it was too late. It was another blow to the huge hearted Gretchen, something else she would have to bounce back from. Her voice doesn’t betray her sadness. Life is just not always simple, no matter who you are or what you have; the proof of your character in her eyes and my eyes is how you handle the adversity that knocks on your door. We all face it.
Her other band “Muddflaps” which has been together for four years can be found at www.myspace.com/themuddflaps is actually her first band, but as she tells me, “we are really just a garage band”. She went on joking “We are the wealthiest garage band in the world”. Though one of the band members wrote the song “Rock N’ Roll Soccer Mom for Gretchen, they did have problems meeting up; with an almost embarrassed smile she told me “I would say hey we got booked at the HOB”. She would be super excited, but a member would say “Sorry, I can’t make it. I’m in Aspen right now”. The problem; the band is made up of all CEO’s and the other lead singer is the son of James Doohan from 
Star Trek (Chris Doohan). When they do get together now it is usually for charity events or to just hang out and jam. She wants everyone to know that they do it for the love of making music; not money. With her divorce almost completed, she knows she will not have the money she had before, but is never beyond mocking herself, as she does when talking about “Muddflaps”. It seems it is almost awkward to have money when so many are suffering; and Gretchen knows this. She has been dirt poor herself. Which is why she devotes herself to Charity causes, her heart knows she has been given so much. In life you meet greedy rich people and emotionally greedy regular people. I think tackling her own past and demons has made her neither financially greedy nor emotionally greedy. It could have turned out very different.
As I mentioned Gretchen will be on the new FOX reality show “Gimme My Reality Show” where supporting players from other reality shows compete to get their own show. Her band “Ankh” will have a 90 second spot singing in their trademark “Adam Ant” make-up and the “Muddflaps” song “Rock n’ Roll Soccer Mom” is the song she and the band contributed as the theme song for her pitch for a TV show of her own. It will premiere on October 11th, 2008 right after The “Really Awards”. She is very excited and is now in negotiations to have “Ankh” as she calls it lovingly to play at the premiers after party. Some of her cast mates will include AJ Benza, Bobby Trendy who she told me “she loves hanging out with” and Ryan Starr, of American Idol, whom she describes as “beautiful on the outside as she is on the inside”. You can visit her page if you would like to know who some of the other cast mates will be. The show can lead to a spin off for one of “Gimme My Reality Show” cast mates. I am a reality show lover, but asked anyway to see how it would be determined, though I already had a pretty good idea. She told me “America will vote to see who ends up with their own show”. She wrote me so very excited about yet another possible job; one can’t have too many jobs lining up is what I think. She wrote “I am also in talks to have a development deal with a major studio to Executive Produce and Develop TV shows and movies!” however, she can’t talk about it at this time because it is not finalized.
From getting to know her, she is a workaholic, a giver, a lover not a fighter, it does seem that the entire craze around her is going to her head. It isn’t. She is kind, open and easy to be around. The major complications of her life are gone, she is focused. You can see it in her eyes. When you know a tough life; you learn to cherish the good life. Gretchen is a beautiful soul with so much to give, learn from and offer friends, associates, and hopefully one day soon, a new love. Which she told me “I don’t care where he comes from, or what he does or doesn’t have?” He just can’t have a drug or alcohol problem; and absolutely no cheaters need apply”! Also, she has children she is uber’ protective of, so to win her heart you have to win the kid’s hearts too. In the end; she is doing all of this for them. Just like any parent would.
